I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize