why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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