yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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