Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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