Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
