just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
