I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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