if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
