It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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