Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
