:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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