he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize