You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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