Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
