i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
did i just pee glitter
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize