Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
