He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
