honey bunches of taint.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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