Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
