The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
