dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
