i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize