So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
