she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
