He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
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