Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
