Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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