you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
