Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Come share oat with me in your robe
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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