Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
