the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
