I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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