oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
it's great music for shaving your balls
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
This baby is an asshole
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
