Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize