Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
