You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize