he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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