if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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