her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm passing your future prison.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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