ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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