Im at strip club and am horny
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
