i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
