Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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