when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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