I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
