In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
they're like a gay fantastic four
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
