Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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