Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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