I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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