What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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