so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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