what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
