Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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