I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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