is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize