nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
