i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
