all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
