I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We left an ass print on the piano.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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