Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
